Behavioural Psychologists on Why We Should Make Choices

Behavioural Psychologists Who doesn’t want the perfect partner? We’ve been told time and time again that we should say yes only to the best, and that we do, in fact, deserve the best. Lowering the bar in making choices – something to avoid no matter what.

OK, we’re here to put some radical thinking into your head. Because, if you think about it logically, to find the perfect one means you have to meet all the potential matches, assess them and investigate their background. Whether such a person could even be considered. So now, what if less than perfect, what if 6/10, could it really be better than 10/10?

Maximizers vs. Satisficer: What Does That Mean Behavioural Psychologists

In a 2002 psychology study, Shwartz and colleagues found that when it comes to making decisions, people are generally of two types: maximisers and satisfiers .

Here’s a simple test to find out what type you have. Let’s say you want to find a new pair of running shoes. How do you make decisions? Have you asked anyone you know for recommendations, read every running magazine, googled and compared all the specs, and checked forums, maybe to the point of getting frustrated by it? And when you finally buy that pair of running shoes because the marathon you’re about to compete in is only a week away, do you experience this familiar lingering doubt that might keep you from making the best decision?

Behavioural Psychologists on Why We Should Make Choices

If the scenario above sounds like you, you’re probably a maximizer . Maximisers need to make perfect decisions all the time. However, because there are so many options for everything, it’s really impossible to dig into all the possibilities to find the best one. And unfortunately for the maximizer , what this means review  is, according to Schwartz, that “the potential for regret will always be there.”

Satisfiers , on the other hand, will set a few criteria before they buy. Let’s say comfort and design are the most important for the satisficer . When they see a pair of shoes that score highly on both criteria, they stop looking and decide to buy. And guess which group ended up happy in the results of this study? No points for guessing right: Satisfiers are happier than maximizers .

The Best for You Doesn’t Have to Be a Perfect Person

Likewise, when it comes to romance, the maximizer needs to find the perfect person. They would evaluate and judge the entire human population if they could. And that’s why, no matter who they date, maximisers are always curious if they can do better, if there’s someone else out there who is better suited for them. Since their decision-making strategy is to gather all possible information before making a decision, maximisers can end up in misery for themselves.

Behavioural Psychologists

Often, even when a maximiser is committed to a partner, they may still think twice about their decision. It’s hard not to do that, when the person they want has to score 10/10 in all aspects. Such expectations can cause great tension in a relationship. That’s why it’s worth exploring TripTogether the satisfier’s approach when it comes to choosing a partner.

The Satisficer did not expect the best. This doesn’t mean they don’t have standards. Instead, they know what they want and have certain criteria when it comes to choosing a partner. Perhaps they value loyalty and kindness above all qualities. Therefore, the person they choose to commit to must have a high score on the criterion. If he’s not anywhere near the Forbes billionaires list, that’s pretty much okay.

Is there someone out there who is a better match for them? Maybe, but satisfiers don’t bother to force themselves on such arbitrary questions. They know that if you are always on the prowl, then that is what you will always be doing – searching.

Behavioural Psychologists on Why We Should Make Choices

How to Know if You’re Lowering Your Standards, or Hopefully – Behavioural Psychologists

This is important. There’s a difference between lowering standards and going easy on (anyone will). The person you want meets your basic criteria. But that doesn’t mean that as long as they are loyal and kind, nothing else matters, not even if the person is in fact, say, a drug addict. Extremely negative qualities are of course a big no-no. You still want someone who has a score of at least 6/10, even on things that don’t really matter to you.

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When in doubt, take time to reflect and consult your instincts. Did the person check all the right boxes on the paper, but somehow he or she just doesn’t feel right? Then don’t say yes. You will know when you meet the right person. Everything will go much easier. Differences should not be made a big problem that you have to fight and cause injury. You can talk it over and work it out, or decide to agree to disagree, and be serious about this. In the end, how well you can be together in the ups and downs as a couple.

One final little test: Can you see yourself sitting next to this person and watching TV in peace for the next 50 years? If this thought has a strong reaction (i.e., either turns your stomach or gives you a warm, glistening feeling), you probably already have the answer.

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